Why self compassion matters in losing weight

By Ginette Lenham- Registered Counseller

It might seem counter intuitive to be kind to yourself and flexible around your eating and exercise plans. Historically when people have been trying to lose weight, they tended to be very rule driven and inflexible, and consequently perceived any deviation from the plan as a failure.  They may be extremely tough on themselves which often leads to restrictive eating behaviours and/or over exercising to compensate for a perceived lapse.  

However, researchers from Drexel University’s Weight, Eating and Lifestyle Science (WELL) Centre found that self-compassion, specifically being kind to oneself following a dietary lapse, was associated with a less negative affect and greater perceived control if they interpret a deviation from their eating plan as a lapse rather than a relapse. They concluded that self-compassion could be an adaptive trait for those working to lose weight, helping them get back on track after experiencing a setback. 

Setbacks are inevitable for a multitude of reasons, and they will look and feel different for everyone. For some people eating just one chocolate is seen as a major setback and for others they don’t blink an eye at having had one chocolate. 

It becomes counterproductive to judge ourselves harshly or to punish ourselves for having had a chocolate, or a night out at a restaurant where the food is different to the plan you are following. 

You can look at it as “Oh no I’ve blown it now, I’m such a failure, I may as well eat more chocolates and eat take away every night now since I obviously can’t stick to my plan” 

OR 

“I had such a lovely night last night and really enjoyed that chocolate, but I know that’s not my every day eating and tomorrow I will get back on track.” 

Option one feels harsh and tough and option two feels kinder and realistic and here is the irony: option two will probably result in more weight loss in the long term.